Power of Purpose

I love to organize!  But you already know that.  On Thursday night I recieved an email asking me if I would LEAD one of the projects for our Serve the City day this past Saturday.  You also know that "lead" is a four letter word to me.  I hate to lead!  I will not lead!  BUT...they asked me to be the project leader for the group going to clean out and organize our donation closet at the office.  Okay Lord, how can I say no to that?

I love to organize!  The day was fantastic.  I love when God calls us to serve in areas that are our strengths.  I love when God provides amazing support around us as he did for me in a girl on my team name Merica.  I love when I step out in faith and God proves Himself faithful again.

And now I have some purpose.
I am so excited to serve the refugee children who fled their countries with nothing by organizing all the art supplies and games.
I am so excited to serve the homeless by organizing all the towels, soaps, and clothes.
I am so excited to serve the office staff by creating an organized and clean space to store supplies for the differently-abled, and abused.
I am so excited.

Little is Much

The kids are almost home for school.  I have a quick second and I just needed to put this down in writing.

There is this AMAZING Body and Soul song that has been my go to song of encouragement these past weeks.  I just had it on a CD but never knew who the artist was.  So I went to share it with a dear friend and discovered that it was Glenn Lavenders old band Downhere!!  I almost feel out of my seat.  Of course it made me sad that we are not working right alongside him at the Chapel but how powerful to me that I know the man behind the song.

Seriously this song has been working a miracle in my heart and fits exactly how I feel.  You must listen.

Consider a chair in a manger...

Little is Much
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LLCB4K6aI2o

Sacrifice of Thanks

Trying hard today to find some eloquent words to express the extreme sense of loss I feel, but I can't. I can only say that it consumes even my physical body and I feel sick and weak. I am thankful today that God is near and is working out His good and perfect will. I am learning that God's character needs to overwhelm my questions and that faith through many tears is an act of worship.
Oh Brussels you can thank me today for the sun because God sent it just for me.

Good Gifts

Reading this morning about how God loves to give us good gifts.

My times in Williamsburg were a good gift and God reminded me today that He loves to give me gifts like those.  How blessed I am to know He spared nothing for me and that He has done exceedingly above and beyond all I could ever ask or imagine already.  I am in a great place of hopeing for what I cannot see.  I don't know what gifts God could possibly have in store for me here but I know that He does and that they are good.  Of course, He doesn't always define good the way I would like Him to but today He did.

the gift of time
I try to embrace the mentality that I will only get one thing done a day.  This is usually the case BUT today I cleaned my whole house including floors, had time with Jon at my favorite cafe, took a tour of a health club, took the bus to the Colruyt and stocked up on supplies I needed, and now have time to eat lunch and relax before picking up the kids.  This time today was a good gift from God.

the gift of generosity
I toured an amazing women's only work out facility this morning.  It is more than my husband wants to spend.  It took everything in me to surrender it and send him the e-mail that says "I will respect your decision."  And today my frugal husband gave me the gift of "staying sexy and thin."  Thanks honey.  His generosity was a good gift from God.

Wrestling Match

I am struggling with God.

Our current church expression is struggling.  Basically everyone left when the going got tough and the "trio" of leadership is down to one couple.  Enter the Ritners?  Ugh.  I am not a problem solver.

Carlton invited us to struggle with each other last night and we did.  We need a common vision and we come from 5 different cultures.  And I have a sore throat.  And it is 10:30p and I have a 30 min. tram ride ahead of me.

I just want to run.

We talked about Jacob "struggling" with God.  What he wanted was blessing.  What do I want from God?  I want blessing.  I want to know why I was called out of my dream life and chosen to live in this dark place.  I want to know a greater blessing than what I knew.  I cannot imagine it.

What does God want from me?  In the past I would have said obedience or submission.  But now I think He wants me to struggle with Him.  To throw my best punches, to be mad and sad and have it all directed at Him.  To be honest.  To be so close and intertwined that I can't get away from His presence.

I just want to run.

Slowing Down

I decided the theme for my life thus far is slowing down.  I know this sounds crazy because nothing about my life and this transition has been slow but  i t   h  a   s    c  o   m  e.

The kids have had off this entire week and I have been waking up most days around 9 or 10.  This is standard on weekends.

My flat most often is pretty messy because there is little room for anything to go and I am ok.  It also only takes like 1 hour to clean the entire thing.

The almost daily rain at some point and cold make it more enjoyable to drink tea and spend the day inside.

It takes time to get anywhere so I really have to weigh whether or not what I want is worth the trip and then the hassle of carrying it home.  Also, I may be literally smashed between a crowd of people.  See also comments on weather above.

I could have my hair and makeup perfect and within minutes of leaving home they are trashed.  So most days I feel freedom for no makeup and my hair in a bun.  See also comments on weather and public transportation above.

Jon and my kids are truly my only daily companions which is sad but has also forced me to get to know them better.

I spend at least an hour on public transportation a day.  Always about 35 min. every day taking and picking the kids up from school.  I pray more.  I think more.  I give God a little more time to speak to me.

Of course this slowing down has also made me addicted to Pinterest.

Lists

I realized today that my personality is in conflict.  I have a ton of emotions daily, and those emotions are all over the place when I initially feel them and sadly for Jon or my kids when I initially express them.  BUT I am highly organized and love control.  Therefore, I love lists.  I even list my emotions to get them in order so they are in control.  Now I am not trying to make a statement about whether this is healthy or not.

I am just saying this so you know that almost every post will have a list.

Here Comes the Sun

Sorry for the long delay!  I am happy to report that since my last blog post things are looking brighter.  God is so good as He continually is providing for all our needs and even our wants.  In the last few weeks we have...

1.  Internet
2.  Phones
3.  A working T.V. and yes we are all watching kids cartoons in French and Dutch.  We were laughing the other day when Diego came on and instead of them speaking Spanish sometimes they speak English!  What a welcomed surprise!
4.  A washer dryer combo which is TERRIBLE!  Oh man I will forever be grateful for our U.S. washers and dryers.  It doesn't really dry but basically just blasts the stuff with steam.  I literally burned my finger pulling sheets out the other day.  Everything is wet until it is out for a few minutes or it's still wet but you can never tell.  I am learning how to finesse the system.
5.  All major appliances but I am desperate for a crock pot.  I am wishing I brought mine but that was like next to impossible with our packing situation.  I am on the hunt for one so pray for that.
6.  A grocery store and wednesday market near our home (10 min. walk for some perspective) where I can buy everything fresh and a little less expensive.
7.  Wardrobes to hang clothes and a wardrobe in the hallway to hang coats

Thank you for your continued prayers and now that I am a bit more settled I will update more!
I have a lot to say!

iPhone in hand!

So had the biggest cry fest last night since we have been here.  Jon asked me if there was anything he could do and I replied tears streaming "just please get me my phone" and voila I am typing you via those mysterious 3G's!  This was so welcomed after waiting 2 weeks for my washer dryer only to have them deliver the wrong one AND us missing the Internet company by 5 min yesterday so still no wifi.  Here the customer is always wrong...
BUT praise The Lord I have a phone!
Need to save G's until we get wifi next Tuesday and I will not have an international calling plan BUT hopefully I will be Instagram, Skype and FaceTime ready soon!

Don't You Forget About Me! I Mean It!

Ironically my prom theme was Don't You Forget About Me and I don't care if most of those people have forgotten about me.  BUT...you cannot!!  I am hitting the 3 week wall and wanting to come home now!  My list of frustrations and complaints about this place is growing rapidly so I will share a few so I can vent.

1.  Still no internet
It takes forever for the Belgacon to set this up because we are in a brand new building.  So...I can't piggy back on any of my non-existent neighbors connections and have limited time to respond to each of your wonderful personal e-mails.  So sorry!  And I basically can't translate Addy's homework and forms etc. from school every day.

2.  Still no phone
Although the iPhone 5 has been released none of the stores have them and therefore the 4's still haven't been reduced.  They are saying could be another 3 weeks.  UGH!

3.  Still no wardrobes in my house
I have clothes and coats and whatever still all over the floor-total chaos

4.  Still no pots and pans
I don't know why we can't seem to get this stuff done but we can't

5.  Still no friends
This is the worst!  Laid on my bed and cried my eyes out 2 days ago because I feel alone and I have not had that instant connection with anyone I have met...you are all totally irreplaceable!

6.  Still no washer or dryer
We have filled 2 huge IKEA bags overflowing with dirty clothes!  Finally I almost broke my back dragging one of the bags on a hunt for a laundromat because remember I can't look up anything...and spent like 10 euro to do 3 loads.  AND then had to drag home wet laundry because I didn't have enough for it to fully dry.  And thank God for this English speaking woman there who helped me navigate the laundry token system-nightmare.  Hopefully the washer dryer combo we bought last week will be delivered today between 3 and 4...so they say...nothing is reliable!

7.  I am COLD!
It is like 50 degrees here and they think that is perfect weather for a picnic?!  What the what is wrong with this culture?!  I am sick of my entire day being outside commuting place to place to get nothing ever accomplished all the while being cold.  I can't buy anything warm because I have no where to put it!

8.  Bad news on shipping
Everyone is saying that if you ship me something I will have to pay a tax for it to be released.  This girl Jodi who works with The Well just paid 90 euro to get makeup that her mom sent.  WHAT?!  And Amazon is proving to be worthless as well.

So there it is...

Seriously, I remind myself like all day that I have people who love me but they just aren't here.  It gets me through the day.  Thank you for your prayers and for not forgetting about me!

New Friends?

So, I went to a Bible Study today at the "largest" Baptist Church.  Wow-it made me realize how ridiculously huge the Chapel really is because it was tiny.  But it was WONDERFUL.  It was just like being at Open Door except  there were ladies in my small group from SC, Indonesia, South Korea, Australia, Canada, Germany, and the Congo!!  I just loved the different perspectives!!  But it is so encouraging that we all love Jesus and totally connect on that.  We are studying the prophets and this week was Samuel.  I also met a girl who is good friends with some of our best friends from St. Louis, Doc and Katie; they were with us in Vegas this year.  I told her that she is going to have to be my friend!  LOL  I am sure I totally freaked her out but nothing like trying to just put yourself out there!

Addy came home from school today and said it was "great."  I could have cried with happiness.  I guess a bunch of older kids took to her on the playground and were intrigued she could speak English.  She has 1 little friend in her class who we think is Romanian but of course, Addy doesn't even know her name. She doesn't speak French or English!  But she waits for Addy every morning and they hold hands and Addy told me today that she kisses her cheek and will lay her head on Addy's hand.  They are so cute and I think Addy was an answer to her prayer as well.  They even protected each other during recess at the port a potty.  I guess there is no lock and Addy was terrified to use it.  I told her to have her friend guard the door and she actually listened to me and somehow was able to communicate it to her friend.  She felt such success today just being able to go to the bathroom!  

Need My Head Lifted (Ps 3:3)

So I am sitting with Jon in this cafe tears continually streaming down my face.  I just cannot stop crying and right now our 6 hour time difference is the worst because I need to see your faces.  My amazing chocolat chaud (hot chocolate) and almond croissant help a little as do the 4 encouragement cards I have already read.  It is going to be like a 10 encouragement card day!

Just dropped my two precious children off at their new French speaking school, Le Jardin D'Elsie-Elsie Garden School.  Last week we were turned down by 2 different schools and the rejection was horrible. One school already had 26 kids per class with 1 teacher.  But from the moment we walked into this beautiful city school we were overwhelmed by God's provision.  Both secretaries spoke choppy English but hugged my kids and kissed their heads.  This school has an inclusion program with a teacher who will help with Addy with her French.  They even teach a little religion and we had 6 different religions to choose from...of course we chose Islam.  I haven't lost my sense of humor yet

Jax cried the 20 min. before we got there but did ok at drop off.  When we walked in with him crying the Directriss of the school wrapped her arms around him and kissed him on the head.  I can feel God's love for us even in this hard time.  Jax is more mad than anything and on the advice of his teacher, Madame Christal we will pick him up this week at 12:00 instead of 3:30.  She speaks excellent English and was really sweet to him.  He already has a field trip into the Grand Place tomorrow!

Addy's teachers, Monsieur Gael (guy) and Madame Caroline are both ridiculously good looking. Monsieur Gael is really young and adorable and speaks excellent English.  I could tell Addy was into him as he sweetly told her "eveything is going to be great."  We met her French tutor Madame Ruth and her Dutch tutor, Monseiur Guiseppe; he is this adorable little Italian guy who also speaks excellent English.  She will have Dutch 2 hours a week and her French tutor 3 hours a week.  Way to totally overwhelm my kids and I Belgian school system.  Addy will also have swimming 2 times a month at the local pool!  Addy clung to us and cried.  It was gut wrenching.  Her Dutch tutor took her by the hand and led her over to her class line.  I tried not to look behind me but thankfully when I did she was holding Madame Carolines hand and I couldn't see her tear streaked face.

I cried unashamedly the entire block to the tram, on the tram, and at this little like Tropical smoothie cafe when the really sweet cashier asked me how I was.  LOL  I still will spill my guts to anyone who will listen in any language!!  As I type this I cry and I really can't imagine the tears stopping today but I keep trying to hold it together for the kids.  Please pray for my precious ones today and especially tomorrow-I think it will be harder.

Jon and I will look at 2 other apartments at 11:00 today but I think we have landed on the one that has the huge terrace.  It brings such happiness to my kids and I want them to feel like they had a say in where we live.  It is small but I keep reminding myself that there is no perfect place and that I am so blessed to even have somewhere to live when I look around this city and everyone who goes without.  I feel like the school and the way we have been treated there is another confirmation of this apartment.  In our current "home" we have to commute 45 min. by bus and then tram to get the kids to school.

I can't wait to start a real "home" and get a television, and a bed, and a washer and dryer, and hopefully some better sleep.

The "Perfect" Place?

I woke up this morning on the verge of tears.  This process of finding an apartment is so overwhelming and slow.  Every place we like is taken within like a day so there is this overwhelming pressure to act fast.

Yesterday we found one that we loved everything about except it is a 2 bedroom.  And not just 2 bedrooms but 2 very small bedrooms.  Oh why did I even look at a 2 bedroom?!!!  It is in an amazing location, is brand new and beautiful, it has a HUGE terrace and even a shared common garden with green grass for the kids to play on which is super rare to find.  But the 2 bedrooms just haunted me as I tried to fall asleep last night.  How are we ever going to fit anything in this apartment?  How are we ever going to be able to have guests?  It is also much cheaper than we have budgeted which makes it interesting too.  I know we could afford bigger but will it be as nice?  This has everything including light fixtures already in place and tracts for curtains already installed.  It has a washer and dryer and dishwasher...Oh what to do?!  Our neighbor Randy said he feels like finding an apartment is like finding love...there will be some things that are not perfect but there is no perfect place.  But do I concede the 3 bedrooms?

Today we are going to go look at the schools in the area and I am desperate to feel some leading from the Lord.  Please pray for wisdom for us today.

1. City Life Rocks Because...

amazing wine and chocolate is just 10 steps away.

After an entire day of walking to only see 3 apartments all I wanted was some wine and chocolate but we didn't have any at the flat.  If I were sitting in my home in VA I would have had to either go without or...
1. look decent
2. get in my car
3. drive up to Farm Fresh
4. go into Farm Fresh where I would have most definitely been stopped by someone to talk and experience tells me I probably would not even know their name
5. walk all the way to the back of the store
6. wait in line
7. get back in my car
8. drive home.
TIME: Never less than 25-30 min.

Tonight I...
1. opened my door
2. took 10 steps to the right to this adorable Indian man run convenience store
3. bought my wine and chocolate for under 10 euro
4. walked 10 steps back
TIME:  Literally less than 5 min and my hair was a total disaster

More on the apartment hunt tomorrow...

First Breakdown

Good evening...or for me good middle of the freaking night!  I had my first breakdown as I lay for 2 hours AGAIN not able to fall asleep.  I just laid there and cried silently to myself desperately missing my air conditioned house, soft mattress and high thread count Marshalls sheets that I got at a ridiculously low price!  I finally got up and walked down the 15 loud death stairs and now decided that this blog is the only good thing to come from all of this.  However, there is nothing like a perfectionist trying to start something she has never done before at 2:38 in the morning.  I am now going to attempt to climb back up those horrible steps and try and fall asleep because we have a meeting with the bank in the morning.  And I am trying not to hate Jon who has had no problems falling asleep at all.

Prayer Request #1:  SLEEP!